Main > Series > Fanzone > Fan Fiction > Gaining The Will


by Sharron Ibbitson
 

“You know what, you have been a fantastic friend to me, but I just wanna know does it run deeper than that? Oh no I can't say that, that's so corny, uh man this is hopeless” Danny Amatullo practiced to himself.

“You need some help?” Doris asked sneaking up behind him, making him jump.

“How long have you been there?” he asked her

“Long enough. So who's the lucky lady?” Doris asked with a smile, biting down on her jealousy. She didn't know when she had fallen for Danny, but she knew he didn't feel the same way, so she had long since decided to keep her feelings to herself. He had been through enough she didn't want him to go out with her due to pity.

“Uh no-one” Danny lied. In truth he had been practicing how he was going to ask Doris out, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want her to just go out with him out of pity. He sighed to himself. “No-one” he repeated “Just practicing a scene” he lied, not meeting her eyes.

“Oh okay then” she responded, knowing he was lying, but not understanding why. “Anyway I'm going to the canteen, you wanna come and get some lunch?” she asked hopefully.

“Uh no thanks, I'm not hungry” he replied.

“Danny! Come and eat, you know you have to gain more weight” she told him forcefully; referring to the drastic amount of weight he had lost during his illness. He sighed deeply.

“Okay Mom, I'm coming” he agreed, more to avoid conflict, than due to any appetite.
 

He bought only a sandwich and felt Doris watching him eat.

“You know I would do much better if you weren't watching every mouthful” he snapped at her, and suitably chastised she averted her gaze. Danny winced, his words had come out harsher than he had intended. “Look Doris I am sorry, I know you care, but please don't push me” he pleaded with her gently, she nodded and was about to speak when they were joined at their table by their friend Leroy Johnson.

“Hey guys what's up?” he asked his closest friends.

“Nothing, just grabbing a bite, got dance this afternoon” Danny told his best buddy.

“Oh yeah it's your first class isn't it?” Leroy asked. Danny had been back at school for a few weeks, but hadn't been able to participate in dance classes since his return. Danny rolled his eyes.

“Sure it is. It's gonna be torture” Danny replied. He was really dreading his first class back.

“Don't sweat it man, you'll be fine” Leroy tried to console his friend. Danny shook his head he wasn't so sure.

“Yeah Danny, just the same as before” Doris told her friend. Danny nodded.

“I guess” he replied, neither of his friends realizing that it was dance class where he had been taken ill last time, and he wasn't so keen to go back to. He had been mortified when he had realized that he had collapsed in front of the entire class like that.

Danny got changed into his sweats very slowly, really not wanting to attend the dance class. He gingerly walked into the dance studio, Miss Grant gave him an encouraging smile as he walked in, and she could see the doubt in his eyes. She didn't make comment on his attendance, not wishing to draw attention to his long absence, for that Danny was grateful. Throughout the lesson Miss Grant kept a discreet eye on the young man who had been so desperately ill such a short while ago. If Danny was aware of her silent observations then he was doing well at hiding it, however he had no such luck at hiding his exhaustion by the end of the class. Lydia didn't comment when he hung back a little bit, from the rest of the group filing out of the door. He rested his hands on his knees, and bent over at the waist, panting to get his breath back. Lydia watched as Leroy gently rested his arm on his smaller friend's shoulders and softly spoke to him. Danny nodded to whatever question Leroy had asked him and the two young men walked slowly out of the room together. Lydia smiled to her self, glad that at least Danny was accepting help from his friends as he adjusted back into school life.
 

Danny felt the tears of frustration well in his eyes. He really hated this, one dance lesson and he could barely walk, and it hadn't even been that tough. He was just relieved that nobody else seemed to have noticed his difficulty, or Leroy having to practically carry him from the room. He sighed deeply; he still had a long way to go.
 

“Hey Leroy, Danny out yet?” Doris asked her friend as he emerged form the boys changing rooms. She had been waiting for Danny for ages, and it seemed to her that the entire class had left except for him.

“Na, but he shouldn't be long. He's just finishing up. Take it easy though he is kinda tired” he told his friend. “If you're gonna wait for Amatullo, then I'm gonna get off” he told her, she nodded in acknowledgment and he went on his way. Doris paced up and down until her friend finally emerged. He looked pale, but Doris refrained from commenting.

“You took your time” she told him with a grin. He grinned back.

“Don't start with me Schwartz” he responded in warning. She shrugged amicably.

“You fancy getting something to eat?” she asked him.

“Why so ya can spy on me?” Danny asked, but without conviction.

“Danny I don't wanna spy on ya. The only reason I nag ya is because I love you” Doris replied, and gasped when she realized what she had just said. Danny just returned her gaze, his mouth wide open in shock.

“Doris I don't need your pity” Danny whispered, before turning on his heel and all but sprinting out of school. Doris clutched her face in her hands.

“Me and my big mouth” she sobbed to herself.
 
 

Danny was still distraught when he got home, he ran straight up to his room, only pausing to tell his father that he was home. He lay down on his bed and sobbed. He wouldn't mind if Doris didn't feel the same way about him and he did for her, but for her to say she loved him out of pity, that really hurt. Danny's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his bedroom door, he hastily wiped his face. His father walked through the door, and sat down on the bed next to his son.

“Dante, are you okay son?” he asked, Danny nodded, he didn't really go for deep and meaningful conversations with his father.

“I am fine pop honest” he responded, his father looked doubtful.

“Dante, I know I haven't always been here for you. But when you were so sick, God I was so afraid for you. I really thought I was gonna lose ya, I just don't know what I woulda done if anything had happened. So please Danny speak to me? What's up?” he asked again, and Danny was surprised, it was probably the most that his father had spoken to him for years.

“It's nothing really pop, just got a problem with a girl” he replied. He was further surprised when his father chuckled at him.
“It usually is my boy, now why don't ya tell me all about her?” he told his son, and he pulled him into a hug.

“Well you've met Doris rite?” at his father's nod Danny continued “Well I kinda fell for her ages ago, before I was sick probably, but then when she was so great when I was ill, well I just felt deeper for her. Anyway I was gonna ask her out, but I never did, and sometimes she looks at me with this look in her eye, and I just know that if she ever did say yeah it would be cos she feels sorry for me. Anyway today well she told me that she loves me” Danny told his father barely taking a breath.

“Well that's great isn't it. She loves ya that's what ya want” his father stated, with a big grin.

“Na, she only said it cos she pities me. That hurt”

“What did ya say when she told ya that?” he asked his son, already fearing his reaction.

“Well I kinda told her that I didn't need her pity and then I ran off” he told his father. The older man winced; it was just as he had feared.

“Didn't it cross your mind that perhaps she said it because she really does love you?” he asked his son.

“No” Danny replied meekly.

“Don't ya think that the way she has been there for you show how much she cares?”

“Well yeah” Danny hesitantly agreed.

“Dante Amatullo, that poor girl is probably incredibly hurt! I think that you should go round to see her and apologize” Danny shook his head.

“Pop I can't. I can't do it”

“Son sometimes in life you have got to do some things that you don't want to do, because you are growing up and it is time to face up to some of those things.” He told his son, Danny nodded sadly.

“Ya know growing up is a bitch” Danny responded. His father chuckled to himself, as his only remaining son left the room, to sort out his not so complicated love life.
 

“Oh mom, it was awful. I don't even know why I said it. It just came out” Doris told her mother, still holding her head in her hands.

“Oh Doris, did you mean it when you told him that you loved him?” the older woman asked her daughter gently.

“Oh course I did” Doris sobbed.

“Well then you shouldn't regret saying it” she told her.

“Oh but you didn't see Danny's face, he was horrified” she continued embarrassed.

“Doris hun, you have to realize that Danny has been through an awful lot. His emotions are probably all over the place. Just give him time” Doris nodded thoughtfully.

“How on earth am I gonna face him tomorrow?” she asked.

“Maybe you should go and see him tonight” he mother suggested.

“Mom, I can't” Doris whined.

“You can and you will” her mother told her forcefully. She punctuated her statement further by placing Doris's coat none too gently into her hands. She led her quickly towards the door and jerked it open. Both women jumped back in shock at the sight of a rather nervous looking Danny Amatullo stood on the door step hand raised, poised to knock.

“Um hi” he greeted, quietly equally as shocked as the two women stood before him.

“Uh hi Danny, come in” Doris finally said once she had recovered the ability to speak. Danny grinned awkwardly and followed her into the house. “So um, what brings you here?” she asked after a while.

“I actually came to ah apologize” he told her nervously. Neither one of them were used to being so awkward around each other.

“Apologize?”

“Yeah I was awful before, and I am sorry. I didn't give ya a chance to explain and I am sorry” he told her truthfully. Doris sighed.

“I am sorry too. I am not sorry for what I said, because I meant it, but I am sorry for how I said it” she told him, he stared back at her, and she took his hand in between both of hers. “Danny I really do love you. I don't pity you. I think you are brave, caring and talented person. I have loved you for months, but never found the right moment to tell you” she told him, and the truth was clear to see in her eyes. Danny sighed; he knew she was telling the truth.

“Doris, I am so sorry for how I reacted. I have been trying to talk to you for months, ya see I fell for you before I got sick, and then I was afraid that you would just go along with it out of pity. I am sorry I should have known better” Danny told her.

“You love me too?” Doris asked hesitantly after a pause.

“Of course I do. I think I always have” Danny told her, and the sincerity on his face almost took her breath away. She smiled so wide she thought her face would crack, her smile only widened, when Danny leaned in and gently captured her mouth in his, and they shared their first real kiss. Mrs Schwartz watched silently from the doorway, a grin on her face, yes Danny Amatullo would treat her daughter right, she knew that.
 
 

The next day at school it was obvious to Leroy that something had changed with his best friend. Danny seemed much more relaxed, he even had a bit of colour in his cheeks.

“Hey Amatullo you okay man?” he asked his friend when he finally caught up with him by the lockers.

“I am not fine, but I am getting there” he told his friend.

“Yes I believe you are” Leroy replied with a grin, his friend's honest answer showing that he was well on his way to recover.

The End.